The Fiery Furnace

"Mommy", the trembling little voice snuggled beside me said, "I don't want to go in the fiery furnace." We had watched the VeggieTales movie, "Shak, Rak, and Benny", yesterday (about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the Bible) and out of the blue it was apparently still on Mason's mind. I took the opportunity to explain that he would never have to go in a fiery furnace, and that when something else came along that he was scared of, that just like in the movie, Jesus would be there with him.

I've been in my own little fiery furnace of late, health-wise at least (which is why you haven't heard from me in some time).  I had a triple attack back in mid-December of a sinus infection, an ear infection, and pneumonia.  After a basic round of 10 days of antibiotics I never quite felt fully recovered.  On Wednesday, I went back to the doctor, but this time to my asthma and allergy specialist, who has done wonders for my ability to breath in the past.  He said I was mostly healed from the infections, but my sinus infection still wasn't gone and my breathing numbers, which a couple of years ago had reached 90-115% of expected lung capacity for someone my age and height, were down between 50-60%. I always know when I'm having trouble, but I often don't attribute it to how lethargic, weak and generally vague I feel.  Thankfully, my doctor doesn't mess around. He put me back on 21 days of antibiotics, steroids to reduce the inflammation in my airway, a strong sinus spray, and re-upped the prescription for my regular inhaler.

I didn't even know it was possible to breath so deeply and feel so alert until I first saw this doctor several years ago. At the time, he put me on a medication plan and I finally could breath normally. Before that, after getting a small cold, I would be unable to exercise or do any mildly strenuous activity for at least one month afterward, sometimes two. It was depressing and I felt so out of control.  I wanted to go do things, hang out with friends, go to the gym, or even just take a peppy walk, but my body wouldn't allow it.

Health is something it's easy to take for granted and not know you are, until you lose some part of it. I've had a lot of trouble since I was first diagnosed with asthma at 10 years old. A lot of my illnesses have been more intense, with a longer duration and I've probably ended up with more of them in general due to my breathing problems. I'm so thankful now, to have found a doctor who realized I needed more than your run-of-the mill inhaler.

Right now, I'm not breathing great, but the medications take time to work and now I have hope. I know with time, rest and faithfully using my medications, that within a few weeks I'll notice a big difference.

As I was comforting Mason tonight about the fiery furnace, I couldn't help but think of how sometimes I'm scared about things I don't have control over, things I don't understand. On the other hand, I also know that without feeling that vulnerability, I might not realize how great it is when things are working well, how free I feel when I'm being true to myself, how alive my body feels when I'm getting enough oxygen, and how comforting it feels when I'm in my own variety of a fiery furnace, that there is Someone bigger than me, standing right beside me. And it feels so good to know I'm not there alone.