Day 19. Board Games.

Sometimes, it's a lot easier for me to zone-out, to stay in that blasé, neutral, nothing space than get up, be focused and be present and involved in my world. Especially, when it's already been a long day. But I never feel good about staying in that disconnected place, so I'm trying to be intentional about staying focused on the "here and now" and keeping mentally present. It's easy for me to set up a train set, and then sit down to check Facebook while the boys play with it, instead of playing with them. And it's easy to say I'll come outside to read while they kick around a soccer ball, instead of kicking it with them.

We had a long day today. It was alumni weekend at Mason's school and we were there for much of the day. We enjoyed a meaningful church service and catching up with friends. The boys, who have needed naps for a few days, had a blast running around with their friends, but immediately got less able to handle themselves after we came home. 

Often, I disconnect when they get fussy, but since I was trying something different, I dragged myself out of a chair and decided to get out some kid-friendly board games. We've never really tried to play them by the real rules, because they have been too young in the past, but now they are old enough to handle the concepts and practice a little more patience. We played a matching game, and an alphabet animal game. They were a little skeptical at first, not wanting to take time to play by the rules, but ended up loving both games. We had a lot of smiling, laughing and cheering. They got upset when someone was ahead of them, but then we worked through it. It was so much fun, for me too. I was especially proud of Mason, who didn't end up winning any of the rounds we played (even when I tried to help his chances). He still kept a smile on his face and came back for more. It's hard to lose to your little brother and your mommy, but it's also real life. Nobody wins everything all the time. In fact, we most often don't win, but keeping that separate from our self-worth is the key. And probably is especially hard to do when you are very young.

Just like in board games, life things don't always go as we'd like, but you have to keep trying to do your best and enjoy the ride. Life really isn't about how many times we win. Today, we had fun along the way, and I think love was the real winner.

What was most interesting to me, is that because I chose to connect instead of disconnect, I actually felt more energized, happier, and much more fulfilled. It's funny, what engaging in your relationships can do. I think I need to do it more often.