Yesterday, Max and I went with Mason and his class on a field trip to Kuipers Family Farm and Pumpkin Patch. It was so much fun, and I'll share some photos tomorrow, and the only difficult part of the day was the extremely cold temperatures.
Part-way through the day, Max started crying and couldn't stop. He was so cold that he couldn't walk and couldn't stop the tears and I decided we needed a little break. He and I headed to the car and ate our lunches snuggled up in the passenger seat with 80-degree air blowing on us for 30 minutes. Mason was having a fun time with his friends, and both Max and I felt better after our midday warm-up. On the way home, all the kids in my car, 4 kindergarten students and Max, fell asleep while their teacher and I chatted and enjoyed the pretty drive. It was a great day, and we were all ready for some rest after enduring the cold weather.
That evening, I had constituency meeting at the school. It was focused on updating the constituents and we didn't have anything to vote on or approve, so that made it pass more quickly. After the meeting, I enjoyed talking with several people and as soon as I got home, I felt the need to go straight upstairs and pray. I've been mulling this crazy idea in my head and it was time to really spend some time opening my heart to God about it. I don't have anything to share at this point except that I did feel some clarity on it, and yet I am continuing to pray and rest on the matter. I hope it will all be resolved soon, and for good this time. Then I will be able to explain. If you feel like sending up a prayer for me it would be greatly appreciated.
So, after my day yesterday, I chose to end it with prayer, and skip my blog post for the day, but there you have it. That was my yesterday.
Today, was low-key. I didn't run to Target like I meant too. I really needed a day to let everything else just be, so that's what we did. Max and I played, read stories, and he napped while I paid bills. After we got Mason from school, we played boys-against-mom football in the yard for a while, then they rode bikes and pulled each other in the sled. No, we don't have snow, but that doesn't stop them.
I really can't think of how to describe the difference I feel in my connection with the boys right now, except that I feel joyful. After all the changes I made that I discussed a while ago, my mind feels more and more free everyday as I dive deeper into opening my heart more fully and being present with my family. It's such an amazing gift, and I see changes in the boys as a result of my changes. They trust me more, they smile at me more, they get such joy on their faces when I play with them, and I feel a deeper sense of value, confidence in who I am, and true joy in my heart. This must be what it feels like when love is truly winning.
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