Today I went to the doctor. My right hip has bothered me for more than 7 years, and it was time to check it out. Way past time. Far beyond.
I had a chest X-ray when I was 26 and was told I had bone spurs in my back and that my spine looked like it was from a person twice my age and I also had a bulging disc in the lumbar region of my back. They said there was really nothing I could do about my "old bones", so I might as well try to keep doing the things I enjoy, even if it's not necessarily preserving them. I can't just sit around and do nothing, right? I have to live my life.
So when I thought about the hip pain I was having, I really didn't feel like hearing the same, "there's nothing you can do about it", depressing sort of verbiage. And so, I put off going to the doctor. The problem is, the pain, tingling and numbness that goes from my hip joint down to my knee, has become intense enough to affect my life more now. Usually, it bothers me, but I can ignore it enough to get by. On bad days, which have become more the norm these days, I can't stop thinking about it whether I'm sitting, standing, walking, going up the stairs, or lying in bed because it really hurts. It burns, it aches, it's sharp and dull at the same time, it makes me emotional, it causes me to walk with a slight limp and makes me annoyed when I have to always stand with my weight on my left leg. Sometimes I avoid going to a store because I don't want to walk around that much. At home, I just want to rest on the couch because it's starting to get exhausting dealing with it constantly. It's pretty obvious to me now, especially when I'm putting it into words, that I should have gone to see a doctor much sooner, but, here I am. I waited until today.
I decided to start with my primary care doctor. I explained my symptoms, and she had me do some stretches, and manipulated my leg to see what hurt. I'm starting to think I'm a horrible patient. I sometimes feel like doctors don't take my symptoms seriously. Anyway, she told me she wants me to go to physical therapy, which is fine, but it did leave me a little deflated. I wanted to make sure, with my family and personal history of bone issues, that there wasn't a problem with my bones in that area. After I explained my history, she wanted to get an X-ray. Good. Thank you. I was getting optimistic. Maybe after all this time, we'll find the easy solution, a quick simple fix, even if it's surgery, at least it will be a solution to this pain.
So I got my X-rays. And later today, my doctor called me with the results. And everything looks normal. Nothing wrong. I should have been happy about this. I was in some ways, but mostly I was disappointed that we didn't have any answers. Is this something physical therapy can solve? Maybe. I don't know.
Tonight, as I'm sitting on the couch, tingling pain shooting down to my knee, I'm disappointed and tired. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
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